


Facing Insanity

by Dominique_Icefall



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, M/M, Master of Death Harry, Multi, Pyromaniac Lily
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2018-10-29 03:16:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10845348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dominique_Icefall/pseuds/Dominique_Icefall
Summary: Reborn was not expecting his new student to already have a guardian. Iemitsu had not mentioned the Potter family. Reborn had a bullet reserved with the name of the leader of CEDEF. He hated being misinformed. And how did Iemitsu miss his wife divorcing him?





	1. Week 1: Correcting Misinformation

Day 1) The File Lies

Reborn blinked, before looking through his binoculars again. It was still there, the proof of his misinformation.

Nana Sawada, short brown hair, bright brown eyes. Enjoys cooking and housewife work. While that was true, it didn’t mention the blonde haired woman with blue-gray eyes who walked up behind Nana Sawada. Never mentioned that the blonde would wrap Nana in a hug from behind, or that Nana would blush before glancing to the blonde who was only a few inches taller. The file never mentioned that Nana Sawada would turn around, wrap her arms around the other woman’s neck or that the two would proceed to make out like hormone-driven teenagers or newlyweds. The file mentioned none of that.

Do you know what else the file didn’t mention? The file had no mention of the blonde’s brother, a dark-haired man about a year older than the blonde, or the dark-haired man’s son who was a Mist with a Cloud secondary flame. The boy Reborn hadn’t known existed was Tsunayoshi’s Mist Guardian. The boy had a Guardian, who had all the protective instincts of a Cloud, and Creativity of a Mist.

As if that wasn’t bad enough the file had outright lied about the Sawada boy’s love interests. Reborn highly doubted a boy who decided that the best way to calm down their angry male friend was to sit on their lap and kiss them, would be interested in a female. Which is exactly what Tsunayoshi had done when the other boy got angry while they were doing homework ten minutes ago. So no, Tsunayoshi had no interest in an orange haired girl from his class. Clearly, the Sawada boy was more interested in the boy who wasn’t mentioned in the file.

Reborn had to change his plans for the week, spend the week creating his own file on the Sawada household, then see if he could still make this mission work. He had been hired dammit, and he would do his job. If he got the chance to kill Iemitsu along the way, well, Reborn wouldn’t complain.

Day 2) Observing Nana Sonoda

Reborn started creating his file by doing background checks on his targets. Reborn wished he could tell Iemitsu his wife had divorced him almost four years ago and changed her name back to her maiden name of Sonoda. Nana Sonoda is 30 years old. Knowing that Iemitsu thought his wife was 34 and so didn’t know his wife’s age, had Reborn filled with stifling laughter. The idiot was so stupid and this one mission just kept proving it. Nana has brown hair and brown eyes, so at least Iemitsu knew what his beloved wife looks like. Ex-wife now though, Reborn really couldn’t wait to see the idiot’s face when he learned that. Nana is the mother of Tsunayoshi Sonoda, a 14-year-old boy. Nana is also dating a woman named Luna Lovegood, and has been dating Luna Lovegood for four years, in fact, they started dating a week after Nana got divorced. Nana Sonoda divorced her husband Iemitsu due to his absence in the life of her and her son. On grounds of abandonment, the divorce was accepted. When, after sending a letter of notification, there was no refusal from Iemitsu the divorce was finalized. She likes cooking, art, and playing darts. Nana carries around at least twenty darts with her at all times. When irritated she will throw a dart at the person who caused her irritation. Nana has four different darts, each of a different color.

Reborn watched from the shadows as Nana Sonoda walked into Namimori Middle school. She had been called, due to her son skipping a detention. She twirled a silver dart in her right hand almost threateningly as she walked, a cheerful angelic smile on her face. As the brown haired woman walked into the schoolyard of Namimori Middle school her son Tsuna and Tsuna’s boyfriend Teddy fell into step behind her.  
“I wasn’t informed of the detention they say I skipped. I haven’t broken any school rules, and even Hibari-senpai agreed I haven’t been an ‘annoying herbivore’ recently so…” Tsuna informed his mother as the trio walked inside.  
“Is that so?” Nana asked her smile still angelic as her eyes narrowed.  
“It’s because Tsuna’s grades are rising. Papa has been helping Tsuna with his dyslexia and suddenly the teacher’s say Tsuna must be cheating.”  
Nana’s smile darkened as they neared the principal's office. She stepped into the office leaving the two teenagers in the hallway.

Nana closed the door behind her as smiled innocently at the principal. She watched as the principal stood up to greet her and Nana tilted her head to the side. She sent the silver dart in her hand at the older man and the principal tried to move out of the way. The dart caught his suit sleeve and nailed it to the wall. Nana sent nine more silver darts at the principal, nailing his nice gray suit jacket to the wall before she spoke.  
“There’s no reason to run away from me now is there? You are the one who requested this meeting.”  
The principal gulped before looking around desperately.  
“I think there’s been a misunderstanding regarding my son and this so-called detention. Don’t you agree?” Nana continued as she walked closer to the trapped man.  
“Yes.” The man squeaked out as Nana pulled out a golden dart. Nana spun the gold dart between her fingertips as she smiled happily at the wide-eyed man.  
“Now you promise this misunderstanding won’t happen again?” Nana asked. She tossed the golden dart into the air, before catching it and sending flying to the wall right above the principal's head. The lights flickered as the dart hit an electrical wire inside the wall, sending additional volts of electricity into the office.  
“Promise.” the man whispered.  
“Wonderful!” Nana cheered as she flexed her fingers and all eleven darts came flying back to her. She carefully wrapped the strings back around each dart before dropping them into her apron pocket.  
“Now there will be no mention of this meeting to anyone else and we won’t have to have a repeat meeting,” Nana said as she left the office.  
“Yes, Sonoda-san.” The man said as the door closed. Nana’s smile was sweet and guiltless as she walked Tsuna and Teddy back home. A blue dart being spun in her right hand while a pink one was twirled in her left.

Day 3) Hide n’ Seek with Luna Lovegood

Luna Lovegood is 32 years old and was born in England. She has golden silver blonde hair with blue-gray eyes. She’s the adopted sister of Hadrian ‘Hari ’ Potter and is the Aunt of Theodore ‘Teddy’ Potter. Luna Lovegood is a Misty Rain and talks in riddles. She is understood by her brother and her nephew. Nana Sonoda and Tsunayoshi Sonoda understand the blonde more often than not, but still get quite lost. Both just smile and look to Hari for a translation when this happens. She likes art and playing games. When challenged to a game by Luna Lovegood say No or risk your sanity.

Reborn had to jump from his hiding spot when a large snowy owl of all things tried to eat him. He landed in the backyard of the Sonoda household, where the target of his observations was dancing like a..drunken ballerina?...Reborn blinked. Yes, she was. Luna Lovegood was dancing like a drunken ballerina. The blonde fell gracefully to the ground, her hair messily falling on her face as her eyes met his. She smiled and Reborn was suddenly wary.  
“Hello, wanna play a game?” She asked cheerfully.  
Before Reborn could make his escape the blonde stood up spun over to the child-sized hitman, then took his hat. Then she disappeared.

Reborn was sure the woods around Namimori weren’t half as populated with trees as it seemed. He was blaming Iemitsu for this, and as Reborn shot down a large three headed bird of all things he decided, he’d blame Iemitsu for that too. He saw the blonde wearing his hat, leaning against a tree. She smiled as he got closer before turning into a swarm of butterflies with horns. The butterflies of course attacked and Reborn hoped the blood the creatures had drawn was all in his head too. If not he’d blame Iemitsu.

Reborn was standing on a tree branch, overlooking a cliff edge. He saw the blonde he was chasing after walking on air over the canyon. She still wore his hat. As the tiny hitman jumped he swore. Iemitsu would pay for this, in hell. Reborn found himself in the backyard of the Sonoda house, the blonde nowhere in sight but his hat sat at his feet. He picked up his hat, a note sitting under it. As he put his hat back on his head he read the note.

That was fun Renetto-san! Or is your name Reborn?  
How ‘bout I just call you Ren-kun?  
Love Luna

Reborn burned the note to ashes as he glared at the house. Iemitsu would pay for this.

Day 4) Confusion by Hadrian Potter

Hadrian Potter is 33 years old and is often called Hari. He has black hair and impossibly green eyes. He’s the adopted brother of Luna Lovegood and the father of Theodore ‘Teddy’ Potter. Hadrian is a Rainy Cloud from England. He likes cooking, hates cleaning, and carries no weapon.

Reborn had tried to find more information on Hadrian Potter, but there was almost nothing to find. It was irritating. Reborn checked school records, there were none, not even for Luna Lovegood. Both were homeschooled, and both were orphans so who homeschooled them? He had looked for their parent’s death records, there were none. He looked for previous addresses, Hadrian lived with a family called the Dursley’s until he was eleven but the Dursley’s disappeared as if they never existed. Lovegood just appeared one day following Potter around. Besides finding out that Potter also had a daughter, named Lillianna, who was in a secure center for criminal girls, there was nothing else to find. No school, no parents, no job. Yet Potter has a never-ending supply of money. What the hell? Reborn was blaming Iemitsu and moving on. Hadrian Potter was a mystery Reborn would keep an eye on.

Day 5) Death Threats and a Teddy Bear

Theodore Potter is 14 years old and has a handful of nicknames. Hadrian, Theodore’s father, calls him Teddy. Luna, Theodore’s Aunt, calls him Eddie, and Nana calls him Ted. Theodore’s younger sister, before she was sent to the prison for young girls, called him Theo. Theodore’s favorite nickname though was the one Tsunayoshi gave him.

Reborn followed the two boys, Theodore Potter and Tsunayoshi Sonoda, as they went to school. Theodore’s hair changed from black to blond, to a dark blue, making Tsunayoshi smile as they walked. They held hands, Tsunayoshi resting his head on the taller boy’s shoulder as they walked. The fact that Iemitsu thought his son had a crush on a girl was ridiculous, and Reborn wondered how far off in la-la land Iemitsu was to miss such obvious relationship between the two teenage boys. Once at school, they went to class, Tsunayoshi kissing the other boy’s cheek before they went to different classrooms.  
It was after school that things got interesting. A group of students cornered the small brown haired boy outside the classroom. They started accusing Tsunayoshi of cheating, and calling him a dame, as well as threatening to beat him up. Theodore came walking around the corner, wearing the black jacket of the disciplinary committee, red and gold armband on his left arm. Next to Theodore was Hibari Kyoya.  
“Crowding herbivores will be bitten to death!” Hibari growled out. The tonfa wielding prefect chased the school bullies out of the school while Theodore walked over to Tsunayoshi.  
“You alright?”  
Tsuna nodded as Theodore helped the brown haired boy to his feet.  
“I’m always alright with you nearby Teddy Bear.”  
Theodore smiled, even as a blush light up his face.

Day 6) The would be Student Tsunayoshi Sonoda

Tsunayoshi Sonoda is 14 years old and often called Tsuna. He is dyslexic which Iemitsu, and most of the other children thought meant useless. He is the son of Nana Sonoda and Heir of Vongola. He has sealed Sky flames, has one Guardian, and considers Hadrian Potter a father figure. Likes learning languages with which to translate Luna Lovegood’s riddles, and cuddling/making out with his boyfriend Theodore Potter. Tsunayoshi also likes listening to stories about Theodore’s younger sister, Lily Potter, who is a pyromaniac.

Reborn felt he could work with this information. It wasn’t ideal, and certainly not everything he wanted to know, but it was enough to do his job. He hoped the Potter girl wouldn’t present a problem though. If the girl did, Reborn promised to blame Iemitsu. The bastard really should’ve known better than to give out false information.


	2. Week 2: Advertising the Tutor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reborn tires to find an in to become Tsuna's home tutor. It's Iemitsu's fault.

Day 1) Flyer vs Luna

Reborn stuck the flyer into the Sonoda mailbox before he left. He watched from a distance, hidden in a tree, as Nana Sonoda walked outside. Luna Lovegood draped over the brunettes back like a human cape.  
“Come back to bed Nana-chan! Hari-nii can cook breakfast today,” the blonde woman whined.  
Nana smiled at the blonde as she grabbed the mail. She turned around, the blonde dragging her feet as Nana easily walked back into the house. Nana dropped the bills and an official looking letter on the dining table before she held up Reborn's flyer. Luna glanced up at it before the blonde attacked it. Reborn watched with well-hidden disbelief as the blonde tore the flyer to pieces.  
“NARGLES!” the blonde shouted, as she chased the shreds around the floor.  
Nana nodded in understanding as she walked into the kitchen. As she passed the blonde currently crawling on the floor she patted the blonde’s head.  
“Good girl Luna-love.” The brunette praised.  
Luna beamed up at her lover before she went on a hunt for the paper scraps.

She’s an adult! What the hell? Breathe Reborn, breathe. Just blame Iemitsu and move on.

Once Reborn calmed down he started planning. The flyer failed, maybe a T.V ad would work?

Day 2) T.V vs Hadrian

Reborn had to cash in many favors with the local t.v company to get his ad aired, at just the right time. He was adding it to the list of things Iemitsu owed him. Now as Reborn found another tree, with a good view of the Sonoda Living Room he hoped this worked.

The family had gathered in the living room to watch a movie marathon. Nana and Luna were cuddling on the couch, Teddy sat on the floor, his back against the couch as Tsuna used his chest as a pillow. Hadrian sat on the armchair, and as the dark-haired man turned off the lights and the t.v on Reborn counted down the minutes before the ad would play. Sure enough, the first ad break had Reborn’s ad for a live in tutor airing. It didn’t even get past the first 15 seconds before the blonde was screaming.  
“NARGLES! Hari-nii! Destroy it!” Luna shouted as she hid in Nana’s chest.  
Teddy grabbed Tsuna and pulled the smaller boy out of the living room as Hadrian broke a leg off the coffee table and proceeded to destroy the t.v. The following destruction of the t.v had the woman and the kids screaming in both fear and laughter as the lights flashed hauntingly in the window. Reborn sighed as he looked at the remains of the t.v. The two women cleaned up the broken glass and smoking t.v parts while Hadrian brought another t.v down from the upstairs. They set it up then went back to watching their movies.

Well that didn’t work. Let’s try a third.

Day 3) Radio vs Theodore

Reborn had changed all the radios in the Sonoda house to the station with his ad. He had decided the blonde knew his first two ads were lies somehow so he decided his third ad would be more truthful than the ones before it. He watched from a hidden passage in the ceiling as Theodore turned on the radio while the two boys were doing their homework.

“I’ll teach your child to be the next leader of Vongola!” the radio advertised.  
Theodore skipped the ad, and Reborn pulled out his cell phone. Soon Reborn had his ad airing on every radio station of Namimori. Reborn’s sense of victory didn’t last long because the blue haired boy tore the radio out of the wall and tossed it out the window. Soon enough the blue haired teen was grabbing all the radios, a pink one from the Woman’s room, a red one from Hadrian’s room, and a blue one from the kitchen. Once all the radios were gathered he dropped them out of Tsuna’s bedroom window. Reborn watched as the radios hit the ground and broke just like his plans, into thousands of pieces.

Blame Iemitsu and let’s move on to plan D.

Day 4) Salesman vs Nana

Reborn wore a suit and fixed his hat. He would advertise his tutoring in person this time. Damn Civilians, damn Iemitsu, damn false information. Reborn didn’t let his irritation show as he walked up to the front door of the Sonoda house. He knocked, and the door opened to show Nana Sonoda. Her short brown hair, and friendly smile made her seem friendly and harmless as she knelt down to the ground. She fixed the skirt of her apron before she spoke.  
“Hello, what’s your name? Did you need something?” She asked.  
“I’m Reborn and I’m a home tutor.”  
“That’s nice, are you hungry?” Nana said as she stood up. Reborn was invited inside, and lead to the kitchen. Reborn sat at the dining table, and Nana served him plate after plate of food. Reborn ate and when he finished he found himself standing outside as Nana closed the front door her smile bright and innocent. Well that failed, but damnit Nana’s a good cook.

Day 5) Tsuna’s Compromise

Reborn was watching from the window as he tried to find a way to become Tsunayoshi’s home tutor. Tsuna was reading alone in his room, when he felt eyes on him. The brown eyed boy put down his book and got up. He looked out the window and saw a suit wearing baby sitting on a tree branch. Reborn and Tsuna met each other’s gaze for a few minutes before Tsuna broke the silence.  
“You’re not a normal baby.” Tsuna stated. Reborn nodded, and Tsuna continued.  
“You’re also the one trying to get hired by my Mama as a tutor.”  
Again Reborn nodded.  
“I’ll convince them to hire you on three conditions.” Tsuna offered.  
Reborn thought about the offer before nodding. How difficult could a teen civilian’s conditions be?  
“Number 1) ”You don’t mention Sawada-san anywhere within hearing distance of any member of this household.”  
Reasonable.  
“Number 2) Luna-san is a living lie detector so no stupid lies, we’ll know if you do.”  
Nana is no longer Iemitsu’s wife so if she wishes to join the Mafia, Iemitsu has no say, I can work with that.  
“And Number 3) I want Lily Potter released from prison.”  
That should be simple enough. Reborn nodded his agreement to the conditions and Tsuna smiled.  
“Wonderful! Once Lily-chan comes home I’ll let you be my Tutor.” The brown haired boy said before he closed the window and pulled shut the curtains. Reborn began planning as he left the Sonoda property. Now how to get a teenage arsonist out of prison?


	3. Week 3: Chasing the Fire Lily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Lily Potter. In remembrance of my Cousin Lily (2000-2016), I've based Lily off my cousin's Favorite anime characters, as such she is a very insane pyromaniac with big dreams, suppressed godly power, and a love of large families. Please don't hate on her.

Day 1) Arsonist Record

Reborn stood in a helicopter, flying over the U.K. There were over a thousand acres of ash, where a forest, an old castle, and vast ghost towns used to be. All burned down by one nine-year-old girl. The reports say she was arrested for a month before she was released on good behavior. The area was uninhabited anyway so not many people thought to care. Then her family moved to Japan, and she set the local amusement park aflame. She was ten then, and once again she was released early on good behavior. The amusement park was old and bound to fall to ruin anyway. As the helicopter flew past the land of ash, Reborn recalled the other reasons the Potter girl was arrested.  
She broke into the prison she had just been released from so she could set the building ablaze. Proof that several officers were abusing their power to take advantage of the girls, in more ways than one, appeared on the desks of the supreme court was never connected to Liliana Potter. Reborn knew it was no coincidence. Liliana Potter was currently serving time in another prison, one she wouldn’t be released from on good behavior. As the helicopter neared the prison’s landing pad, Reborn got a bad feeling.

“Ya Mr. Boro?” the guide asked.  
Reborn nodded, as he kept his oddly shaped glasses from falling off.  
“Sorry, Ya came all tis’ way.” The guide said.  
Reborn’s bad feeling got worse as they walked out of the landing port. The guide, a young man in his early 20’s, continued to walk while he spoke. They were walking along a dirt path to the prison but as the young guide spoke Reborn knew this trip was doomed.  
“Twas the Fire Lilly ya know?” The man said as they made it to the top of a hill. Reborn really wanted to blame Iemitsu for this. The prison was ash and rubble, with construction workers crawling everywhere trying to rebuild it.  
“The girls’ve been relocated see? There twas letters sent out, all official-like.”  
I’m blaming Iemitsu, this is Iemitsu’s fault somehow.  
“Right. I best be leaving then.” Reborn said, and the guide led him back to the helicopter.  
Day 2) Potter’s Flaming Art

Reborn had found the prison Lilliana had been relocated too. This facility focused on therapy and healing the prisoners’ mental health. As Reborn looked through Liliana’s file he wondered who the girl's mother was. She had Hadrian’s emerald green eyes and her hair was black with fire red highlights.

Patient: Potter, Lilliana  
D.o.B: August 12th  
Age: 13  
Father: Potter, J. Hadrian  
Mother: Weasley, M. Ginevra

Reborn had searched for the Weasley woman, but she didn’t exist. Of course, she didn’t exist, anyone who has ever been connected to the Potter’s past doesn't exist. Can I blame Iemitsu for this? I probably shouldn’t...but I will anyway...The damned bastard.

Reborn read the Potter girl’s file as he searched for her room. She had several poems, short stories, and pictures, in her file. There was a common theme of course. In one drawing, there was a young woman walking down an aisle. Her hair was in an updo with a thin veil over her eyes. The black and white background had people in the seats on each side of the aisle, and a man stood to wait for the woman at the end of the aisle. Now, this would’ve been a normal teenage girl’s fantasy if the wedding gown the bride wore wasn’t a gown of flames. The red, gold, and orange, and yellow were artfully mixed so the flames seemed to dance on the wedding gown. In another drawing there’s just an outline of the groom, he still has no face, but there’s a burning building behind him.

Reborn eventually found the girl’s room. It was nice and open, with a large bulletproof window, with a mattress in the corner, and art on the walls. She was sitting in the room, smiling up at her artwork on the wall. Her knees were pulled up to her chin, as she hummed happily to herself. Reborn braced himself for whatever she would do, knowing her family she was bound to be just as odd.

“Liliana Potter,” Reborn stated. The girl turned her head, the lighting making her highlights look like the flames she so admires.  
“Mister Hitman.” She stated back.  
“I’ve been sent to take you home.”  
Her emerald green eyes burned with excitement as she danced around her room. She grabbed her artworks and stood patiently by the door. Reborn typed in the keycode and the door slid open. The girl followed him as he leads her out of the hospital prison.

Day 3) Burning Poetry

“So Mister Hitman, could I make the wagon another poem?” Liliana asked.  
“No, we’re still using it,” Reborn replied.  
They were a day away from Namimori, and the dark haired girl had already, turned the plane into a time bomb, overheated the furnace of the steamboat, and hotwired the car to detonate should it stop or slow down. Watching the following explosions as she carried him away from the danger didn’t make it any better. Mostly because she never went too far away, only far enough so she could watch her masterpieces burn.  
“It’s Poetry.” She said with a smile as she watched the boat sink below the water. "I wish you could hear it sing."  
Reborn was making Iemitsu pay for the girl’s Poetry. Liliana smiled, as she played with her coarse flint rings. Reborn knew she wouldn’t be able to not set the wagon ablaze so he jumped off the wagon. Just in time too as the girl dragged her rings along the wagon’s edge. Sparks became flames as she sang and set about turning the wooden wagon to ash.  
My wagon...Reborn silently whined as the girl laughed and dance within said burning wagon.  
Reborn sat on Liliana’s shoulder as she walked the rest of the way to Namimori, the smiling girl gazed at everything they passed with an almost dreamy wistfulness. Her mumbling about beautiful poetry was expected by now. After a few hour, Reborn found himself getting used to her whispering about different types of fire and how to get the prettiest results out of a burning building.

“Hey, Hitman-san?” The girl asked as they walked into Namimori. Reborn glanced to her, she was still smiling, her eyes shining with innocence as they walked to the Sonoda house.  
“Should you ever hurt my family or their Significant others I’ll turn you into Poetry. Kay?” She said happily.  
“Understood.” Reborn replied simply.

Day 4) Welcome Home

Tsuna seemed to have upheld his half of the deal, because when Nana opened the door she welcomed both Liliana and Reborn into the house.  
“It’s wonderful to meet my Tsu-kun’s tutor, Reborn-san.” Nana said as she smiled. It was around breakfast time, and Tsuna was poking at Teddy who was half asleep in his oatmeal.  
“Theo-nii!” Liliana called out as Teddy’s face leaned closer to his food.  
The sleeping boy jumped, not noticing the girl who had entered the kitchen.  
“Lilly-chan!” Teddy jumped.  
Both teens held each other’s gaze for a minute before the girl began jumping in place. Teddy grabbed his breakfast and his uniform jacket. Tsuna was already dressed, his breakfast finished.  
Reborn watched as the boys made a quick escape, Tsuna’s laughter ringing out as they were chased by Liliana. The girl had taken only a minute to get ready for school before she ran after the boy’s.  
“Oh, to be young again.” Nana sighed as Luna wrapped the brunette in her arms.  
“Ren-kun,” The blonde started. Hadrian had dropped into the armchair after the kids left for school. Reborn sat on the armrest of the armchair, and looked to the blonde.  
“If the Storm needs a room Hari-nii can fix up the Guest room.” She said before dragging Nana upstairs.  
“I’ll get the room ready for whoever you invited over.” Hadrian said as he stood up.  
Reborn sighed and hoped this less chaotic week was a good sign, instead of a foreboding one.

Tsuna laughed as Teddy half dragged him to the school building. Liliana, suddenly dressed in the girls school uniform, chased behind them.  
“THEO-NII!” She screamed.  
“SHE-DEVIL!” Teddy replied.  
Teddy drank the rest of his oatmeal, tossing the plastic cup into the nearest trash can as he ran past.  
“THEO-NII! You’d make such a lovely poem!” She promised.  
“NEVER!”  
Welcome home, Lily-chan. Tsuna thought as he laughed happily. Welcome home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be nice when/if you comment. I have a lot of emotional control issues and have issues with taking things too harshly. I don't understand what made the second chapter so hard to understand, as its the first few scenes from KHR. Should I add an 'assumed knowledge' tag? As this is a crack fic, I might not do a lot of world building. Any tags you think I should add I will, I'm not really sure how to go about picking them out. Thank you for the help.
> 
> Love  
> Dominique Icefall


	4. Week 4: A Student’s Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Reborn follows the kids around school, Hayato makes a bad first impression on his new classmates, and Teddy is part Werewolf.

Day 1) School

“Tsu-kun! Ted-kun! Breakfast is ready!” Nana called out. Reborn sat at the table with Lily-chan, Luna-san, and Hari-san. The dark haired girl finished her breakfast as the boys slammed their doors open and ran down the stairs. She kissed her father’s cheek before she left the house for school. Tsuna tripped on the stairs in his rush, Teddy grabbed the smaller boy’s arm and pulling him back. The force had Teddy pushing himself forward, and as the blue haired boy fell down Tsuna reached out to catch him. They both fell down the stairs, Tsuna sitting on top of Teddy’s stomach. Luna leaned back in her seat, her smile bright and absent as she looked at the two teens.  
“Tsuna-kun, Eddie-kun, you know better. No sex in the hallways.”  
Reborn snorted into his coffee as the two teens jumped apart, faces red and eyes wide. After breakfast, the two boys left for school, Reborn following shortly after.

Tsuna walked hand in hand with Teddy as they walked to school. Their friend Yamamoto Takeshi-kun was waiting for them by the baseball field as they passed by. He walked on Tsuna’s left, cheerfully telling them about his upcoming baseball game.  
“Does Lily-chan still have that crush on Sasagawa-senpai?” Takeshi asked.  
“No, she got over that while she was in prison,” Teddy replied.  
“She’s still friends with Kyoko-chan though. They’ll be in the art club together now.” Tsuna commented. Takeshi smiled, as cheerful as ever as the three boys entered the school building.

Tsuna kissed Teddy’s cheek before going to class, sending Teddy away with a bright grin. Takeshi laughed as Tsuna blushed. They found their seats and class began. During lunch, Tsuna, Lily, and Reborn sat outside. They could see Teddy and Hibari fighting on the school roof. Teddy jumped off the edge, smile wide as Tsuna’s entire being froze. Teddy landed in the branches of a tree, and Hibari jumped off after him. Tsuna relaxed and packed up his lunch.  
“Your Nii-san is an Idiot Lily-chan.” Tsuna sighed as they walked to class.  
“Says Nii-san's Boyfriend.” Lily laughed before she left for her own classroom.  
After school, Reborn followed the kids home. They walked Takeshi to his Dad’s sushi place before they went to the Sonoda house.  
“You remember when you burnt down our house Lily-chan?” Teddy asked as they passed a burnt and blocked off the building.  
“Oh! That was a fine piece of Poetry. I sang that one before I went back to St. Brutus.” Lilly confirmed.  
“Why did you do it in the middle of the night?” He asked.  
“Because Daddy had been sleeping all day. He was awake and he could watch my beautiful masterpiece and know I intended to come home.”  
“But I was sleeping!” Teddy protested.  
“You were? Oops.” She shrugged, smile bright as her eyes shined with humor.  
Tsuna buried his face in Teddy’s arm as they walked. His shaking shoulders the only proof of his laughter.

Day 2) Clubs

The next day Reborn followed the kids during their clubs noting that Tsuna had four guardians, instead of one. The Mist Guardian was Teddy who was a member of the Disciplinary Committee. Lightning Guardian was Lily who was a member of the art club, with the Cloud Guardian being Hibari Kyoya. Hibari was also Head of the Disciplinary Committee. Hibari and Teddy were an odd pair, Reborn had decided. Hibari was a Cloud, with a Mist secondary while Teddy was a Mist, with a Cloud secondary. There was the Rain Guardian one Yamamoto Takashi, a member of the baseball club.  
Lily was friends with the younger sister of a potential Sun Guardian which gave Reborn another reason to blast Iemitsu into tiny pieces. Tsuna needed only one Guardian, the others were already there. Not exactly Mafia ready, but with Hibari’s almost delinquent gang, and Lily’s love of fire they’d eventually get there by themselves. Unfortunately Reborn couldn’t wait that long, he had a job to do after all.  
Reborn found the art room, there was a pull screen divider on the ceiling, and latched to the floor. On the left side of the divider was a normal art room, with girls and a few boys painting or sketching on easels. On the right of the screen was Lily, and her friend Kyoko Sasagawa, in a fireproof version of the art room. Kyoko sat at a sewing machine. Lily modeling the clothes the orange haired girl made.  
“Okay! They fit. Now let’s test them.” Kyoko said happily.  
“Poetry Time!”Lily cheered as she rubbed her rings together. Kyoko pulled on some goggles and Reborn watched from the window as Lilly’s dress went up in flames.  
Right...She is already obsessed with improving her ‘Poetry’. Next!

Reborn found Hibari and Teddy patrolling around Namimori. Teddy narrowed his eyes, as he tilted his head to the left. Hibari slowed down, waiting expectantly.  
“The Small Animals at Namimori Elementary are being held, hostage.”  
Hibari growled, and both boys took off towards the Elementary school.  
“Three men, Two have guns, weak in strength. The leader is the muscle and the brains.” Teddy reported as they ran.  
“The False-Carnivore is mine. You got the Herbivores, Wolf?” Hibari said as they neared the elementary school.  
“Always.”

Reborn watched as Hibari and Teddy broke into the elementary school through the window. The teacher took advantage of the opening and distraction to lead her students to safety. Teddy went after the goons with guns, while Hibari attacked the leader. Teddy dodged the bullets, while he disarmed his opponents. Hibari beating the leader into a bloody unconscious heap. Teddy tied the three up with the Kids Walking Rope, Hibari watched and snorted.  
“Trying to keep the Herbivores in line Wolf?”The Chairman asked.  
“I can try,” Teddy replied as they left the classroom.

Day 3) Testing Lightning

Reborn watched as Lily and Tsuna were walking outside for lunch. Teddy had been summoned by the Disciplinary Committee so would be missing out on lunch with the gang. Reborn thought this was the perfect time to test the Guardian of Lightning.

Lily noticed it first, she had dreamed about turning the school into poetry often enough before she decided to get arrested again that she had learned every passageway and added some of her own. When the floor dipped as her and her best friend stepped on it she knew. Trapdoor, no handle, wired. Remote control? The dark haired girl pushed the brown haired boy across the trap door’s surface. Tsuna turned around as the door opened beneath her. Lily smiled as she fell, her coarse flint rings scraping sparks along the walls of the hole.  
“Sing to me Beautiful Poetry!” She laughed.  
“Be home in time for dinner Lily-chan!” Tsuna ordered as he carefully peered over the edge.  
“I promise Tsuna-kun!” Lily called back up cheerfully.

Reborn had stayed at the school, wondering how long it would take the raven-red haired girl to escape. There was an explosion below the school. It shook the foundation enough that the Middle school now sat on a small raised hill, compared to the sunken schoolyard. Lily came crawling out of the earth, goggles and a face mask protecting her from the dirt. She pushed herself up and dusted herself off before she filled in her escape path.  
“Hitman-san! Guess what! Guess what!” She said excitedly as she turned around.  
“What Lily-chan?”  
“I just dug my way up from Hell! It was Beautiful!” She sighed dreamily as she walked home. Reborn wondered if she meant the burning fiery pits from the Christian bible...On second thought I don’t want to know.

Day 4) Conversations

Tsuna had dragged Teddy to the baseball field to watch the baseball game. Lily joined with Kyoko and Kyoko’s brother Ryohei. Reborn watched as the game started.  
“I suggested he join a martial art’s club,” Lily said as she braided a strip of Kyoko’s hair. Tsuna blinked, tilting his head up to see the girls sitting behind him on the bleachers.  
“Who? And why?” Tsuna asked.  
“Takeshi-kun of course. Baseball training doesn’t really work out all the muscles, well at least not the training I’ve seen Takeshi-kun practice. If he joined a Martial arts club he’d learn more about taking care of his body, and become a better baseball player. The self-defense is just a bonus.”Lily explained. Kyoko nodded her agreement.  
“Being able to defend yourself when attacked is important. That’s why I carry pepper spray with me whenever I leave the house.” Kyoko shared.  
Ryohei blinked before correcting, “You carry your pepper spray even when you’re at home. Outo-san hasn’t entered the kitchen since you attacked him.”  
Kyoko sighed, like a mother who's had this conversation before.  
“Outo-san was trying to eat the cupcakes I made for Lily-chan’s welcome home gift. He knew the cupcakes weren’t for him so he should've expected retaliation.”  
“I loved the cupcakes by the way Kyoko-chan! We should bake together sometime.” Lily said.  
“That would be so much fun!”  
The boy’s sighed as the conversation picked up speed before flying over their heads.

Day 5) A Transfer Student

Reborn had enrolled him into Namimori Middle school, the Vongola Heir’s class. Hayato Gokudera made sure his dislike of the brown haired boy was as clear as crystal, which had changed the opinions of his new classmates drastically. He kicked the other boy’s desk as he passed by, and had knocked the smaller boy to the ground. The girls who thought his ‘bad boy’ look was cool, sent him glares like ice after that. The boys who thought he was ‘cool’, called him a narrow-minded bully. There were a few who didn’t care, but one girl had left for a ‘restroom break’ only to return with a member of the Disciplinary committee, referred to as Teddy-kun. Teddy-kun’s presence had halted the lesson. The blue-haired boy walked over to the Decimo-to-be and whispered some questions.  
The replies had Teddy-kun’s eyes, which were a hazel blue, flash a dark amber as he glared at Hayato over the brunette’s head.  
“Hayato Gokudera, bullying is not tolerated at Namimori Middle. If the Committee receives another complaint there will be consequences.” Teddy-kun bit out before he left the classroom.

During lunch Hayato watched as the girls asked the brown haired boy if he was alright, some of the girls hugged him, others gave him sweets from their lunch boxes.  
“I’m fine, really, he isn’t the first to dislike me, and I’m proud of my relationship with Teddy-kun.” The brown-haired boy would reply which confused Hayato and irritated him to no end.

Once the well-wishers departed, Hayato challenged the Sonoda boy for the title of Vongola Decimo, of which the boy accepts only to turn around and ask Reborn what being Vongola Decimo had to do with the new student being a homophobe.  
“I am not homophobic!” Hayato protested, to which the eavesdropping classmates scoffed in disbelief. For what other reason would a new transfer student have for randomly picking on Tsuna-kun?


	5. Week 5: Tests and Challenges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily falls in love, the boys panic, and we learn a bit more about the Potter Family.

Day 1) Storm vs Sky

It was Saturday, behind the school when Tsuna and Hayato had their showdown. There was an audience, those who supported Tsuna and his relationship with Teddy-kun and those who were friends or on friendly terms with Tsuna or any of his friends, vs. those who weren’t. The Disciplinary Committee had been assigned by Hibari to keep the crowding under control.  
“You don’t have a weapon Tsuna-kun. Theo-Nii's got his Wolf claws, I’ve got my Poetry. Hibari-senpai has his tonfa, and Ryohei-senpai’s been in the boxing club for years. Takeshi-kun has his baseball bat and even Kyoko-chan has pepper spray.” Lilly-chan fretted as she sat on the bench.  
“I’ll figure something out Lily-chan,” Tsuna promised. The emerald eyed girl gave him such a sad, wide-eyed look his heart felt like it was breaking.  
“Just ask for me, and I’ll turn the jerk into Poetry.” She promised.  
Tsuna nodded and she grinned happily. Teddy stood up and hugged Tsuna tightly. The fangirls squealed but were ignored as Teddy pulled Tsuna in for a passionate kiss. Lily laughed softly as the fangirls in the crowd fainted.  
“He smells like Lily-chan after one of her Poetry events. Be careful.” Teddy whisper in his ear. Tsuna slowed his breathing in an attempt to slow his erratic heart as he nodded his understanding.

Lily played with her dark red hair, as she watched her friend dodge what looked like smoking rocks. When the first bomb went off, the crowd screamed. Lily ignored them as she narrowed her eyes. The silver-haired boy sent off bomb after bomb, the explosions small but powerful, as they sent dirt flying. As the silver-haired boy realized he was losing his attacks got sloppy and desperate. But the final explosion caused such a beautiful fire. Lily waited only long enough to hear the silver-haired boy pledge to serve Tsuna before she let herself ‘tune out’ reality.

“Daddy? Why is Mummy crying?” A four-year-old Lily asked as she and her twin brother James sat next to their father.  
“Your Mummy’s sad because she can’t have more children even if she wanted to.” Hadrian attempted to explain.  
“Why can’t she have more children?” James asked.  
“A bad wizard attacked your Mummy with an Ice spell when we were teenagers. She was lucky to have you two, it should've been impossible.”  
“An ice spell?” Lily asked.  
“It froze and killed off your Mummy’s uh, insides, so she can’t have any more babies.”  
“I don’t like ice.” Lily decided.  
“I don’t either, Fire Lily, I don’t either.” Her father agreed.

“So pretty,” Lily sighed sadly as she gazed at the dying flame.

Day 2) Lightning Love

Lily brushed her shoulder-length red and black hair. Pulled on her knee-high leather boots, and fixed her leather fingerless biker gloves. Kyoko had helped her make new coarse flint jewelry. Her rings were put in her jewelry box as Lilly snapped the flint palm pads to the gloves. It wasn’t as pretty as wearing her rings but the gloves were pretty cool, and they matched her boots. Lilly wore the black uniform skirt but had torn the sleeves off her white dress shirt. She also stole one of her brother’s suit ties so she could dye her bow black and wear it like a headband.

Before Lily left for school she kissed her Daddy’s cheek, making sure to leave a lip gloss stain because she knew it annoyed him. She’d been doing it since she was four after all, just like her Mummy and her Mama Daphne had taught her.  
As she walked outside she saw the silver-haired boy standing outside the gate. She remembered Hitman-san had said the boy had an apartment, so Aunt Luna had Daddy turn the guest room into a nursery instead. Lily wondered if that meant she’d be a big sister soon…

The older boy wore the Namimori boys’ uniform, with many wristbands and rings. As he leaned against the brick wall, Lilly watched him as she passed. He smells like the flames of Poetry! Lilly sighed dreamily as she walked to school, wondering if her dream man could be her brother’s new friend.

Day 3) Sister Trouble

Tsuna sighed as he watched Lilly. They were walking home after school, and she had been acting more dreamily than normal. Like when she had a crush on Ryohei-senpai. Lily-chan’s got another crush. Tsuna knew Takeshi and Teddy had realized it too when they groaned in dismay. Tsuna’s new friend Hayato didn’t know, so Tsuna decided to explain.  
“Lily-chan’s decided she’s in love with someone again. The last time she fell in love she offered them Poetry to show her affection. Not to say Lily-chan’s Poetry is a bad thing or anything, but…” Tsuna trailed off.  
“Lily-chan is really special, and unless the poor guy in question truly cares about her I don’t think they’d appreciate Lily-chan’s brand of Poetry.” Teddy finished.  
Hayato nodded, confused but easily finding comparisons between the dark-haired girl and his own sister.

Reborn woke up to Bianchi, Luna, and Nana screaming, the boy’s panicking, and who knows what else. When the hell did Bianchi get here? Reborn thought as he got up. Might as well figure out what the hell everyone’s screaming about. This is definitely Iemitsu’ fault.  
When Reborn got down the stairs he saw the three young women were playing tug of war against each other, with Lily-chan as the rope. The boys were trying to stop them, while Hadrian sat in a dining room chair, having a conversation with his perfectly calm daughter. Is being pulled in three different directions normal for this family? Reborn needed coffee, it was too early to deal will this shit.

Once Reborn had his coffee he was able to listen in on the conversations going on around him. Lily had mentioned being in love during breakfast this morning, which is when Bianchi had shown up. Nana wanted to help Lily cook sweets to gift her love, while Bianchi wanted to help Lily cook a whole five-course meal to gift instead. Luna didn’t want to be left out and said if she won she’d take Lily out for ice cream.  
Tsuna didn’t want Bianchi teaching Lily how to cook poison, which he must’ve learned from Hayato, who also didn’t want Bianchi teaching Lily to cook in poison. Takeshi didn’t want Lily-chan to get hurt if the women pulled her too much or dropped her, and Teddy was freaking out over the conversation Lily was having with their father.  
“How old do I have to be to get married?” Lily asked as Bianchi pulled her to the left.  
“Depends on who you marry, and where you want it to be,” Hadrian replied.  
“I want two weddings then, one Mummy and Mama Daphne can attend, then another for anyone who couldn’t go to the first. Can I do that? ” Lily asked as Nana pulled her to the right.  
“Of course, for the first, if you get courted like James plans to do with Daisy, then you can be married next year.”  
Luna pulled Lily's waist, making the girl’s arms stretch into a V as Nana and Bianchi refused to let go.  
“And if I’m not courted like Daisy will be?” Lily asks as Nana pulled her to the right again.  
“Then you can’t have a traditional wedding, it would be similar of course but not quite as powerful.” Bianchi tugged Lily to the left as the dark-haired girl sighed.  
“How do I get a boy to court me?” Lily asked.  
“I’d suggest dating them first, then if you still want to marry them, I’ll talk to them,” Hadrian promised.  
Luna managed to win the tug of war as she pulled the 13-year-old to the floor. Her cheers of victory were overshadowed by Teddy’s growing panic.  
“My little sister isn’t getting married! Not to some unworthy punk!”  
Tsuna, Takeshi, and Hayato were all quick to agree, protesting Lily's marriage to some unknown boy.

Day 4) The Mission

Hayato was invited into the tenths’ room, with the other boys. Teddy sat on Tsuna’s left, with Takeshi next to him. Tsuna waved Hayato to a seat on his right.

“We have a mission. One of utmost importance.” Tsuna started. There were grim nods around the table and Tsuna continued.  
“Lily-chan wants to marry some unknown boy. We can't let the unworthy taint Lily-chan.” Again the others agreed.  
“so, first we must find out who it is she wants to marry. Then we must test their worth. If they prove to be unworthy we must chase them away. Only a worthy boyfriend would be able to survive Lily-chan anyway.”  
“When do we start boss?” Takeshi asked.  
“Next week,” Tsuna informed.


	6. Week 6: The First Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily causes property damage, Luna and Harry give Reborn naughty ideas, and Hayato faints. It's still Iemitsu's fault right?

Day 1) Clues

Reborn watched from the dining table as Teddy and Tsuna came barreling down the stairs. Both were dressed for school, though Teddy wore his Disciplinary jacket instead of his class jacket. The two boys ate their breakfast slowly, as they waited for Lily to come down the stairs.  
“You’ll be late for school if you don’t hurry up.” Nana sighed.  
“So will Lily-chan.” Tsuna reminded.  
Reborn tried to ignore the blonde as she hummed happily from her seat across the table. Luna was sitting in Hadrian’s lap, putting beaded hair clips into his hair. The green-eyed man just sighed as the blonde practically hugged his face as she reached around his head. Reborn tried not to think any dirty thoughts while Luna swayed in Hadrian’s lap. So Luna practically lap dancing her brother is considered normal? It’s too early for incest...I will not go there, I will not go there…When the house phone rang. Luna jumped off Hadrian’s lap Reborn couldn’t quite hide his small sigh of relief.

“Lily-chan! It’s the twin!” Luna called up the stairs.  
“Coming Aunt Luna!” Lily replied as she left her bedroom to answer the phone.  
“Lily Potter here, keep it short. I’ve got school today.” Lily said as she slipped on new leather gloves.  
Teddy and Tsuna sat at the bottom of the stairs, shamelessly listening in on Lily’s conversation.  
“I just wanted to tell you I’ll be taking the Greengrass Lordship a few months after our 15th, so Mum and Mama Daphne can get married.”  
“Finally! They’ve wanted to get married since before we were born. How's Daisy? Hogwarts?”  
“Daisy is doing good, I asked her to the yule ball this year and she said yes. Hogwarts is beautiful, but I wish you were here. How's learning magic from Dad?”  
“Awesome. Because of the whole Myth that wasn’t Dad’s been teaching Teddy and I wandless spell casting. Technically because we don't use a Focus we’re called Mages.”  
“I remember that. Mummy wants to know if you’ve found a boyfriend?”  
“No not yet, but there is this one guy...” Lily began giggling as Teddy whispered to Tsuna.“Mummy’s taken the phone from James.” Tsuna nodded and they went back to eavesdropping.  
“Tell Mummy EVERYTHING!”  
“Oh Mummy, he’s amazing, so tall and handsome. He’s a year older than me but I get to see him almost every day!”  
Nana smiled angelically as she threw a pink dart at her son. Tsuna startled as it hit his forehead and bounced off. A blue dart hit Teddy who yelped when it popped like a water balloon, drenching the blue-haired boy with cold water.  
“YOU’RE LATE!” Nana yelled as she chased the two boys out of the house.

 

Day 2) Suspects

Tsuna sat at the picnic table, Teddy on his left, with Hayato on his right. Ryohei sat across from Tsuna, with Kyoko across form Takeshi and Hibari leaning on the tree behind them.  
“Yesterday we managed to narrow our suspect list,” Tsuna informed the group.  
“Lily-chan has stated her intentions of getting married to a boy she barely knows. We learned he is only a year older than her, so he’s 14 years old.” Teddy added.  
The gathered teens nodded as Hayato pulled out a stack of files from his school bag.  
“These are the files of every boy in our year here at Namimori Middle,” Hayato informed them.  
Hibari frowned as he looked over the scattered files before he began picking up seemingly random files and handing them to Teddy.  
“These Herbivores are scared of fire. The Little Ram would never approve.” With that Hibari left, his aid given and his job done.  
“Well, the chairmen’s right. Lily-chan wouldn’t fall for a guy scared of fire.” Teddy said as he put the files away.

In order to have access to the four classrooms in their year, Hayato got himself and Takeshi temporarily switched into different classes. With an eye in each classroom, they could find out which boy it was that Lily-chan liked.

Day 3) Gifts

Things seemed to be going nowhere that day. No progress had been made on figuring out who Lilly’s love was. Tsuna was sitting in his classroom when it happened. The sound of sizzling was followed by the smell of smoke. Tsuna turned around to see the back wall of the classroom go up in flames. The words ‘I love you’ the only remains. The classroom on the other side had Hayato staring wide-eyed at the burning wall.  
“Lily-chan’s Poetry?” He asked as Tsuna approached the gaping hole in the wall.  
“Yeah, this was Lily-chan, but it was tamer than expected,” Tsuna confirmed.  
Hayato paled as he thought of what that meant. If this is tame what’s she going to do next?

Day 4) Progress

Takeshi went back to Tsuna’s classroom, and Teddy joined Hayato’s. The Teacher’s put a large wall covering over the wall so classes could continue. The two teams interrogated the boys in the class while Kyoko drifted between the cliques listening for clues hidden in gossip. They managed to eliminate the suspects down to 14 boys by the end of the day. They hoped they could figure out which boy it was before Lily-chan decided to burn down the poor boy’s house or something.

Day 5) Hayato

Hayato was walking home from school when he saw it. Smoke was rising from above his apartment. He ran the rest of the way to see the apartment had been set ablaze, but somehow it was only Hayato’s apartment. The others had been unaffected by the flames. Hayato did the only reasonable thing once he realized what the burning apartment meant.  
I’ll have to date Lily-chan, after proving myself to the Tenth and the others or tell her no and risk death by flames or death by the angry guys for breaking her heart.  
Hayato passed out.


	7. Week 7: First Date with Fire Lily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily adopts Lambo, Hayato takes Lily on a date, and Lambo is a young pyromaniac.

Day 1) Lily’s Son

Lily was gathering up the dishes left in the boys’ rooms when she saw the little boy. He was sitting on a tree branch right outside Tsuna-kun’s window. She left the stack of plates on Tsuna’s desk so she could get to the little boy. Lily opened the window, smiling gently to the small dark haired boy. She watched as the little boy backed up on the branch, and she sat on the window ledge.  
“Hello, aren’t you a cutie? You look like my Daddy did when he was little, but he’s old now.” Lily said softly. The little boy crawled closer and Lily smiled. As the boy got closer Lily kept talking.  
“Do you like fire? I love fire, it makes such beautiful poetry,” she whispered secretively. The black haired boy smiled and Lily felt her heart melt.  
“If you don’t have any parents you can call me Mama.” She offered as she hugged the small boy to her chest.  
“I was sent to kill Reborn, who I met at a bar.” The little boy informed her.  
“Well, then you must call me Mama, and I’m going to be the best Mama in the world. Starting first by saying you have a new mission. You will...find a hobby and make a friend.” Happy with the mission she came up with Lily carried her new son to the nursery.  
“We’ll be having lunch soon, and then bath time, and I’ll introduce you to your new Grandfather, and Uncle Teddy, and…” Lily said cheerfully.  
Lambo smiled up at his new Mama as she showed him his new room. She made a list of different books to add to his bookshelf and toys for his room.

Day 2) Asking for a Date

Reborn had noticed the little boy Lily-chan had illegally adopted one day. She carried him with her everywhere. The small black-haired, green-eyed boy even called Lily Mama, Teddy was called Uncle, and Hadrian was called Grandfather. Reborn felt he should’ve expected it when the Bovino boy said he would be learning to make Poetry too.  
“Mama makes Poetry, I wanna try it too!” The kid said during lunch.  
Lily had smiled so brightly it could’ve started a fire if she hadn’t begun teaching the brat. It was the weekend and all of the teens had gathered to hang out. During the meal, Tsuna’s Storm Guardian would glance from the Lightning girl to the other teens around the table. Reborn wondered what had the boy so nervous, but shrugged it off.

Hayato decided to approach Lily first. Just to confirm, because if she wasn’t interested then he wouldn’t have to worry about talking to her brother or her father. Lily was in the nursery, singing to her son, and when the fuck did that happen? Wasn’t she 13? to sleep for nap time. Hayato stood in the doorway, watching as Lily ran her fingers through the little boy’s hair. Pulling out a bazooka, grenades, and tons of other explosive weapons out of the child’s hair with a fond smile. Once she stood up and left the room Hayato decided now was the time to ask.  
“Lily-chan, I was, Well I was wondering if...you wanted to go out? Together that is.” Hayato stumbled out. Lily’s bright green eye’s glowed with happiness as she jumped up and hugged him. Hayato’s face went red, protests dying on his lips, as she kissed his cheek before dragging him down the stairs.  
“We’ll make beautiful poetry together forever and ever, Hayato-kun!” She cheered.  
Lily dragged Hayato around the house while she looked for her Daddy. She found him in the backyard, telling an enraptured audience about the time he became immune to poison, while he ate Bianchi’s poison cooking.  
“Daddy! Hayato-kun’s asked me out on a date! Can I go?” She asked happily.  
Hayato could only watch in growing horror as eight sets of eyes pinned him with challenging gazes. He wouldn’t back down, he had asked her and was pretty sure a date wouldn’t be too bad. He met the stares head on with stubborn bullheadedness. Hadrian nodded in thought before he smiled.  
“Very well, but since you decided to adopt Lambo-kun you’ll have to arrange for his care.” He said with a smile.  
“We can take him with.” Hayato offered, to which Lily began to glow with excitement.  
“We can go out tomorrow. It’ll be so much fun!” Lily said before she vanished up to her room.

Day 3) The Date

Hadrian smiled while his daughter got ready for her first date. She had adopted Lambo-kun after finding him in a tree and had been determined to be the best mother in the world. Which made him a grandfather at 33, but that was fine. As Lily came down the stairs wearing a short red and black skirt, thigh high black socks, with her leather combat boots. Her shirt was white, and she wore an open black jacket. Her red and black hair was fixed up with a black bowtie. She carried Lambo, who wore his cow print onesie. The little boy enjoyed asking about the different rings Lily wore as they left the house.  
Hadrian watched from the window as Hayato stood at the door, and the three walked out of the gate together. They would make such a cute family. Hadrian noted as Lily happily took Hayato’s hand in her left as they walk. Lambo held in her right. Teddy and Tsuna left the house hand in hand a few minutes later, followed by Nana and Luna as the couples all decided today was a good day for a date. Hadrian noticed that Reborn had left as well. Harry had the kitchen to himself.  
Hayato found himself enjoying the day out with Lily and Lambo. They went to the park first, where Lambo ran around and played while he and Lily just talked.  
“Well, let's see...My full name is Liliana Minerva Genevieve Potter, and I’m 13 years old.” Lily said. Hayato nodded, trying to find his voice so he could speak.  
“My full name is Hayato Gokudera. I’m not sure if I have any fancy middle names. I never bothered to find out.”  
Lily smiled as they turned around, having reached the end of the sidewalk outside the playground.  
“I’ve been arrested three times, and have visited four different prisons.” Lily offered.  
“Really?”  
“Yep! The first was for mass destruction, I set a few towns ablaze with beautiful Poetry.” Lily shared as Hayato tried not to laugh at the matter of fact way she spoke.  
“The second was for the destruction of Koukyo Land, a nearby amusement park in Koukyo. And the Third was for burning down one of the prison’s I was held in.”  
“Wow, I’ve never been arrested, but I’ve caused plenty of destruction.” Hayato shared.  
“Really?”  
“Oh yeah, one time I rigged an entire parking tower to explode when my target parked their car.”  
Lily’s excited laughter brought a smile to Hayato’s face, as her eyes shined with wonder.  
“I’d love to share my poetry with so many people. Once I’m officially part of the Mafia my Poetry will be admired by thousands!” Lily declared.  
“I’m sure it will be,” Hayato said, and Lily’s emerald green eyes burned with her joy.

They went out for some lunch next, Lambo happily making a mess. Lily cheerfully cleaned up after Lambo while she ate. Hayato taking a turn so she could eat her lunch.  
“I don’t like ice,” Lily said as she used her spoon to send the ice from her soda catapulting into the window flower box.  
Lambo copied with his own ice, and Hayato joined. The three made it into a competition trying to get all the ice cubes into the flower box before they melted.

After lunch, they went to the movies. Hayato had to make a retreat with Lambo when the movie unintentionally sent Lily a challenge. Hayato watched with amazement as she single-handedly set the theater ablaze. Watching as she danced out of the burning building as if she were dancing on air. The three watched the building burn, Lily resting her head on Hayato’s shoulder while they held Lambo between them.  
“When we get married, we’re going to make the church sing beautiful Poetry.” Lily sighed dreamily.  
“Okay...wait...what?” Hayato’s question went unheard as Lily and Lambo began the walk home.  
Hayato followed, trying to get her to repeat what he had agreed to.  
Did I just agree to marry her?


	8. Week 8: Godly Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is a god, Lily is a goddess, and Reborn says No. Can anyone guess who Death is? I may mention him again later.

Day 1) Reborn’s Curse

Reborn sat at the dining room table, the kids had left for school Hibari having gotten Lambo enrolled in Elementary school. Hadrian sat across from him, with Nana on his left and Luna on his right. Reborn refused to look up from his breakfast.  
“Luna Love, you’re out of lipstick.” Nana laughed.  
“Oh? I should put some more on then.” Luna replied.  
“Let me do it for you.”  
“Okay!”  
Reborn stole a peek, to see Luna wearing bright green lipstick while Nana wore bright pink. Both women smiled before kissing Hadrian’s cheeks. Making sure they left lipstick marks as the dark hair man closed his eyes as if in pain.  
“Lily-chan was right! This is fun!” Nana laughed as she grabbed another lipstick color from the makeup kit on the table.

“While the women ruin my face,” Hadrian started as the women laughed. “Reborn, what kind of Curse is it that you wear?”  
Reborn blinked ignoring the women as they started leaving kiss marks on each other’s faces instead of Hadrian’s.  
“My curse? Well, I’m the World’s Greatest Hitman.” Reborn said simply.  
“And I’m a god called the Master of Death, Luna’s a Prophet who swore allegiance to Death’s Master, Teddy is a half werewolf, and Lily is a goddess,” Hadrian said just as simply.  
Reborn blinked, What the hell? God and Goddess and Werewolf and what the hell?  
“Okay, The Arcobaleno Curse is a curse held by the seven strongest infants, who each possesses a different colored pacifier that corresponds with their Dying Will Flame,” Reborn answered.  
“Curses run in fear of my Hari-nii,” Luna said confidently.  
“Do you want your curse broken?” Hadrian asked as he cleaned his face off with a cloth. Reborn watched as Hadrian smeared the lipstick around his face instead of removing it, while he thought. Yes, he wanted the curse removed, but was it truly possible?  
“If you can remove the curse I’d greatly appreciate it.”  
“Okay, so who cursed you? Why did they curse you? And how did they curse you?” Hadrian asked.  
“A man who called himself Checkerface or the Man with the Iron Hat. He cursed me and the other Arcobaleno to protect the Tri-Ni-Sette. There was a mountain with some sort of carving in the rocks. After standing on the ledge there was light, then there was the pain.” Reborn answered. Hadrian nodded before he disappeared into the basement.

 

Day 2) Gods

Hadrian had turned the basement into a ritual chamber. Reborn felt like he had stepped into an occult fanatic’s paradise. There was a large runic array etched into the floor, with bottles of animal parts along the walls. In the corner was a bubbling cauldron over a flame, with crystal balls hanging from the ceiling. Luna danced through the randomly placed crystal balls, caressing them as she passed. Reborn watched in fascination as the crystal balls shimmered to show an image of the Arcobaleno.  
One had the Lackey Skull riding a motorcycle through a forest, being chased after by men on dirt bikes. Another had Mammon sitting in their office of the Varia going over stacks of paperwork. Then there was Colonnello giving out orders at Mafia Land, and Lal Mirch was doing paperwork somewhere. Fon was training his newest student I-pin, in the mountains somewhere. Verde was building something in a science lab. Reborn got a headache looking at the crystal that showed him, looking at a crystal of himself, looking at a crystal showing him, looking at a crystal of himself...A headache, don’t think about it...Damned crystals.

“So I’ve talked to the Aspect of Death, don’t ask how he’s gone senile in his old age and I don’t want to talk about it, and he’s told me I have to make a deal with the Aspect of Life who might not be too happy with me,” Hadrian said. Reborn nodded, as Hadrian continued.  
“Now, the Aspect of Life loves me, really creepy actually…” Hadrian said before shaking off the memory.  
“Anyway she loves me but the Aspects of Fate don’t. The Aspects of Time don’t like you or your predecessors or this Checkerface guy who cursed you. So instead of being helpful, they’re being difficult.” Hadrian explained while he grabbed cans of animal parts off the shelves. Nana walked next to him with a box of the selected animal parts.  
“Apparently Gaia gave Checkerface and this other person one task, don’t ask why I didn’t get an answer. They had one task, ‘Protect the Seven Stones’. What stones I’ve got no clue. The Aspects want us to figure it out ourselves or something.” Reborn listened as Hadrian spoke, but watched the cauldron boil and pop as Luna sprinkled herbs into it.  
“Anyway, instead of protecting the stones the idiots broke them into pieces and seemingly scattered them across the world. So in order the break the curse I’ve been told to kill this Checkerface guy, reclaim the Stone pieces into my family because they can’t be repaired but simply keeping the stones tied to a godly bloodline should keep the balance that was destroyed when the stones were broken.”

Reborn watched as Hadrian suddenly dropped a handful of animal parts into the cauldron. It Fucking Burped! Hadrian took a thick mug and dipped it into the concoction.  
“Here drink this,” Hadrian said as he held out the bubbling mug to Reborn.  
“No,” Reborn replied instantly.  
Hadrian pouted but as Reborn watched the concoction bubble and pop he refused to change his mind. I am not ever drinking whatever that is.


	9. Week 9: Again the Family Grows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I-Pin shows up, Dino too.

Day 1) Tsuna’s Daughter

 

Tsuna loved his friends and his family, they were all amazing wonderful people. Tsuna tried to convince himself that was true as he hid his face under his pillow.

“Lily-chan’s spending the morning with me!” Bianchi's yell rang through the house.

“She’s my girlfriend! She said she was spending the morning with me!” Hayato yelled back.  _ Bianchi must be wearing the masquerade mask Lily-chan got for her. _

“MAMA!” Lambo screamed.

Tsuna heard Teddy’s door open across the hall.

1,

2,

3,

“WOULD YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP!” Teddy ordered before slamming his door closed.

“No yelling in my house.” Tsuna’s Mama ordered her voice controlled and soft, followed by the shrikes for her victims as Nana threw her icy water darts at those in the living room. Not even three minutes later Tsuna’s alarm clock went off and Tsuna had to get ready for school. Tsuna and Teddy decided to skip school, and instead find a shady tree in the park under which they could take a nap. 

 

Teddy woke up to Tsuna snuggled up to his side and a little girl about Lambo’s age holding a photo to their faces.

“Are you looking for someone?” Teddy asked as he tilted his head to look at the photo.

“The guy in the photo looks a lot older than Tsuna and I, is that your uncle?” Teddy asked. There was no resemblance between the girl and the photo guy but best not be presumptuous. 

“I find the target, learn new tricks.” She said in choppy Japanese.

“You’re a martial artist then?” Teddy asked as he sat up. Carefully moving Tsuna’s head to his lap so not to wake the other boy.

“You know?” The girl asked surprised.

“Your uniform provides for a good range of movement. Good for female martial artists.” 

The little girl blushed at the sort of compliment. When Tsuna woke up, it was to Teddy’s fingers running through his hair and the sound of gentle conversation.

“So you’re an orphan then?” Teddy asked the little girl.

Tsuna remembered Lambo and how Lily-chan adopted the little boy. There was room in the house for another nursery, maybe....

“Yes, me no got parents.” the girl confirmed.

“I’ll adopt you if you’d like?” Tsuna offered as he sat up. The girl blinked before smiling brightly.

 

Day 2) Dying Will

 

Reborn was tired of needing a reason to use the dying will bullets. Tsuna was just not as much of a weakling as Iemitsu’s file had originally indicated. Tired of waiting, the tiny hitman decided to wake the Decimo to be up with a dying will bullet and see what happens.

“LIVE THE DAY WITH MY DYING WILL!”Tsuna screamed as he jumped out of bed. 

Tsuna quickly got dressed, then ran into Teddy’s room, where he proceeded to jump on the sleeping boy’s bed. Teddy was woken up, his eyes flashing amber gold as he glared at the hyper boy.

“UP! UP! UP!” Tsuna chanted before he ran out of the room. Tsuna banged on the bedroom doors as he ran down the stairs, waking up the adults and Lily-chan as well as the two kids. He grabbed some toast and jam before he ran out the door to school. Teddy was dressed and chasing after the brown-haired boy, frustrated at being woken up two hours before school started.

 

Tsuna was impatient during class, and so skipped. He ran twelve laps around the track before he offered to deliver any paperwork Hibari needed to be delivered. After running halfway around town and back Hibari decided to bite the hyper herbivore to death. Tsuna dodged and ducked Hibari's attacks, laughing happily as he swayed in and out of attack range. Their spar lasted until one Ryohei Sasagawa decided to join. The three-way spar had the three boys falling through the floor into the classroom below, sending the students running. 

 

Tsuna’s excited laughter as he avoided getting hit became hysterical when Teddy joined up. It became Teddy and Tsuna vs Ryohei vs Hibari. They broke through a wall, and Kyoko-chan joined her brother in the fight with her never-ending supply of pepper spray. The bell rang as Tsuna passed out, Kyoko got Hibari’s eyes with twin blasts of pepper spray, and Teddy held Ryohei in a headlock.

 

Reborn had enjoyed this day’s chaos, probably because he caused it. 

 

Day 3) Brother Dino

 

Tsuna was walking home, Teddy on his left with Hayato on his right. Takeshi next to Teddy, and Lily-chan next to Hayato. They had picked up the kids from the elementary school, Lambo was jumping between Lily and Hayato, while I-pin walked calmly on Tsuna’s left. As they neared the house they saw it was surrounded by men in suits.  

“Excuse me, would you mind stepping aside please?” Tsuna asked. 

“Only the Tenth Generation of the Vongola may enter.” The stern-faced guard said.

“Yes, I understand that. And I asked you to step aside.” Tsuna asked again.

The guard still didn’t move so Tsuna glanced at his gathered friends. To his left Takeshi held his baseball bat against his shoulder, the cheery smile threatening with his narrowed eyes. Teddy’s nails had sharpened into claws, as his eyes flashed amber. On Tsuna’s right Lily-chan was snapping her rings together, sparks small but noticeable. Hayato had pulled out his bombs and was ready to light them at a moment's notice. Lambo and I-pin had been instructed to find Hibari-senpai should any Mafia problems arise before they finished what the Adults called Basic training. Both kids were carefully backing away and ready to run. 

“As the Future Decimo of Vongola, I give you a single warning. Continue to block my access to my house and you won't like the consequences.” Tsuna announced clearly.

The guards were quick to move out of the way then, and Tsuna smiled cheerfully.

“Thank you, you’re so kind,” Tsuna said half sarcastically as he leads his friends inside. They all hide their weapons, as they raced to the kitchen. Nana and Harry had made dozens of snacks to go with dinner, due to all the guests that had visited today. Tsuna excused himself from his family to find Reborn for some answers.

 

As Tsuna opened his bedroom door to find some adult sitting in his desk chair.

“It's not nice to show up uninvited to someone's house, much less invade their personal space. Unless of course, you’re a hooker, but I don't think I hired one recently.” Tsuna said as he walked into his room. The unknown guy lost his cool mature and mysterious air as his face went red and he sputtered out denials.

Tsuna just leaned back against his closed door, arms crossed and eyebrow raised.

“I’m Dino, I was Reborn’s  student before you.” He finally explained.

“and that gives you what right to ignore basic manners?” Tsuna asked.

Dino was wide-eyed as he stared at Tsuna in confusion.

“Alright, how about we make a deal yes? I ignore your lack of proper manners and you let me call you Big brother? I'm assuming since Reborn let you in you don't  intend to kill me or my family in our sleep.” Tsuna offered.

“Deal!” Dino agreed, glad to be given a way out.


End file.
